Life is a battle, sometimes you have thought you've been healed and ready to move on, but in reality you can't .. The wounds still hurt, it's just getting worst .. It's funny how life could turn upside down in a blink .. I think I am going through the 5 stages of grief, I'm not grieving over a dead person, but a dying love .. It was the most terrible past 2 days I ever had, I never cried when I was eating, but I did, and ended up scratching and biting my own artery during the shower, too bad my nails and my teeth aren't sharp enough, non-stop biting and scratching for over an hour and I'm still alive.
Christmas is around the
corner and I can't enjoy it .. I don't want any more tragedy to happen in this world, if tragedy needs to find a victim, please let it be me. Other people deserve happiness and happily ever after ..
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Monday, September 30, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
若無其事
你少看的書 最近翻了好幾次
你變得沉默 什麼都不堅持
你的唇邊有某個句子 只是還沒有對我表示
你的雙眼中 躲著另一個影子
還是我多心 錯看你的樣子
不讓懷疑淹沒了理智 然而一切我很難解釋
因為愛你 我可以若無其事
不想不聽沒有追究的言詞
我們還在擁抱的彼此 所有心思原來是兩件事
面對著我你何必若無其事
離開我你才能對自己誠實
回憶雖然難以收拾 若無其事
不去面對現實 才諷刺
如果你還愛我
我帶著一顆疲憊的心走了
我知道自己在你心裡已不重要
雖然我們曾經相聚過
也許對於你來說
已經沒有什麼值得回憶
我帶著一顆沉重的心走了
我知道自己沒有勇氣道別離
雖然我們曾經擁有過
但是對於你來說
已經沒有什麼值得回憶
難道早以注定
不能真正擁有你
難道我真心付出一切
只為了承受孤單和寂寞
我知道你不敢對我坦白
是不要看到我的傷懷
雖然你沒有說要離開我
我已經感到你不再屬於我
如果你還愛我
你不會對我如此的冷漠
又怎會讓我在漫漫長夜獨自徘徊
如果你還愛我
你不會對我如此的冷漠
我只能含著眼淚
默默的離開
難道早以注定
不能真正擁有你
難道我真心付出一切
只為了承受孤單和寂寞
我知道你不敢對我坦白
是不要看到我的傷懷
雖然你沒有說要離開我
我已經感到你不再屬於我
如果你還愛我
你不會對我如此的冷漠
又怎會讓我在漫漫長夜獨自徘徊
如果你還愛我
你不會對我如此的冷漠
我只能含著眼淚
默默的離開
如果你還愛我
你不會對我如此的冷漠
又怎會讓我在漫漫長夜獨自徘徊
如果你還愛我
你不會對我如此的冷漠
我只能含著眼淚
默默的離開
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
心痛的感觉
没有梦想的人是否就象行尸走肉一样？没有灵魂的的贝壳，还是人吗？我总是放不下以前的回忆，愧疚的心正在慢慢的吞食我的灵魂，怎么办？做人就是这么顽固，永远都学不会放手。好怀念以前乐观自信的自己，无忧无虑，自由自在。原来爱一个人是那么痛苦的，曾经有几次每当我一想起他的时候，我感觉到心脏有点纳闷。他已经走了，是吗？所谓的家已经没有了，我还会有向往的圣诞节吗？我也就快无家可归了。
我恨自己这么脆弱，以前坚强的我消失了吗？我答应过他我一定要恢复乐观，作回以前的开心果，我一定要做到。也当作是在他离开前最后一件可以为他做到的事。
Friday, May 31, 2013
Stop Loving
You don't love me anymore, don't you? I'm no longer your soulmate, your wife, your fiancée, the love of your life, isn't it?
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Pop the Question!
Friends are getting either engaged or married lately . . . Actually, I want to start a family too, I know you hate kids, me too, but maybe we can try to have a kid one day? Perhaps?
You never pop the question again since 2009, I wasn't ready when you asked me, although I did said yes but these two years I'm ready, and you never ask again . . . I love you but I didn't say it often, if you check this blog, you'll know actually I want to be your wife and YES! I love you! I want to marry you! Ignore all the craps and bad things I've ever said to you, because I don't meant it!
Realize how many times I told you I hate you? I was telling the opposite thing! I meant to said I LOVE YOU! I just . . doesn't want you to feel you've already owned me, and I still need you to asked me again. You don't even have to get another ring, I love love the ring you gave it to me, I don't wear it often because I'm afraid to scratch it! I don't need fancy food and venues, just bring me a dozen of orange roses and give me the ring again, I will say YES!
Silly, you always thought I don't love you and I will leave you one day, I won't! Because I'm in love with you! You're my person, my soulmate! My lover! I never have any problems with your family, I met them and I love your parents too! I know they dislike me but I'm good with elders, as long as you will stand beside me and give me courage, I can face all kind of difficulties for you! Lets build a future together!
I want to have a family here in the US, but I miss my hometown too, maybe we can go back for few years and come back out again! I will do whatever it takes to make this come true, I will give up my hometown citizenship for you! And let's bring our parents here for a better quality of life without crime. I promise I'll be a good girl, I'm all yours, all you have to do is hold me tight and ask..
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Living Together
Living together is tough, yo, you have a lot of bad habits, do you realize it? But hey me too! Sorry for the mess I make! I'm a big baby, but I'm glad you're here to protect me.
Hehe, you'll probably don't know this, but I don't know what I can do without you baby. Don't worry I will never leave you! But please, you always snaps on me, you're scaring me baby, can you please don't do that anymore?
I love you.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Missing
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you like crazy, can't stop thinking of you. When I'm walking, working, dreaming, breathing, is all about you. I miss you... Nemo can't make me laugh anymore, sleepless night, endless night.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
远方
今天的日子过得好漫长，一个人的世界，吃了就睡，睡醒了就看戏。习惯了总有个人在枕头边，近天却消失了。不知道正在飞机里沉睡的他可会想到我吗？漫长的日子要如何过才可以过的充实？九点钟要回到办公室，却没有雀跃的感觉，也许我已经开始累了。
夜晚时刻，我的手机会甚么时候响呢？在远方的他，可知道我有多想念他吗？漫漫长夜，要如何过，我不知道。
夜晚时刻，我的手机会甚么时候响呢？在远方的他，可知道我有多想念他吗？漫漫长夜，要如何过，我不知道。
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Blog Blog 開課了
註冊了這個網址那麼久, 現在終於 Post 東西了. 希望陸續會有更多的 Post Post 吧! 今天有点失落呢,跟了我五年的心情小册子竟然不见了, 原来遗失了东西的感觉是一点都不好受的. 什么时候开始, 我在这繁华的世界里走失自己, 从前的我到哪儿去了? 风铃,你回来了吗?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
All we wanna do is to find a way back into love
This one guy, V, he had a 4 years relationship with a girl N until he met J, who gives him a complete definition of love. V is the one shaping N to grow up to become a perfect gf for V. Yes, perfect gf, but V knows deep inside his heart that this girl is not the one he loved, and he convinced himself that true love never exists in life, until he met J again in the summer 2008. J has a best friend V, they known each other for over 5 years, nothing intimacy had ever happened to them because V had B. J used to be a lonely bird, she always wanted a fairy tale. Ever since she was a kid, she realize that there is no such thing in the world. Her heart is broken since long time ago,because of her experience and friends. She had been a free spirit to search for love, but she failed, always fell for the wrong person. She learned, and she move on. Those bad experience had make her believe in no true love. Because of V and B, J convinced herself to try to believe in love. And se did, she went out searching still, fell for the wrong one. There's always been a chemistry attachment between V and J, but J never mentioned anything about it, until the day she got drunk and called V, things had become complicated for V, while J had no idea what went wrong. All the teasing from V, J took it as usual until one day a summer escape, the birthday night, the shooting stars, the airport, starbuck coffee had make them get together.
V is very unsatisfied with one thing about his relationship with J how come he can always tolerate with B, even though it was not true love and be rude to J deep inside V's heart, it's just very struggling because he always wanted to be nice to J but V is a very impatient person he wants to see effective and immediate results, but that's not how J take things work and J is a person that could be very mean when she works and V just don't get used to the fact the he is being ignored more than last time when V is best friend with J probably because they talk too much, and J thinks that is the way that they feel each other together
V appreciate more in depth conversation everyday because he likes to think deep. When this kind of conversation don't spark before night he will be upset because during the 4 years of the relationship, it had always been a one way traffic Because J is just completely the love he has been seeking that he knows he can't let go V doesn't want to change J because he fell in love with J with who J was. V and J's story is something that could happen as rare as seeing Mars hitting the earth and yes they did said that before if they are together Mars and Earth will hit each other. So V shall never let go J, they are just having some technical difficulties here.
V and J is a couple that have very similar characteristics, that love each other very much. J is a more tolerant person, but after being with V(in fact since J is with F) I don't know when J started to be not that tolerate anymore. V is a very selfish person he had closed his heart for being generous for a year from being hurt since what happened back home in summer 2007. Now he is opening his heart to be no selfish anymore but he's very afraid to get hurt J might not realize this but it's always in his heart. V spent all the time and money(even he has little now)trying to make J happy because he feels he has been a better bf to N and very regretful to J and that's why he is not happy everyday. Almost everyday they quarrel. V is the one who bring it up because he is either unsatisfied his performance(trying to get assurance from J) or he just can't get used to the fact that J is asking more and more everyday but now they are tired
All I wanna do is to find a way back into love
J love V,but they always argue out of small things
J used to have nobody next to her when she needed anyone
she had get used to it, and become a free sprite. But ever since V have become a part of her life, she know there is someone out there for her
J had told herself. She could let anyone down, she could let anybody upset or disappointed about her, but just V, not V, J doesn't want V to get up set or anything
J never open her heart to anybody,
but just V, she had let him enter her heart.
the distance, the past
had make them suffer
they argue everyday
J had never argue with anyone, besides V
they both upset with each other
V is worry about the uncertainties, and J is trying to make herself comfortable with the distance relationship
J love him, and she never thinks a call per call will make it enough
they talk at least 8 hours per day and plus the video call
and maybe J is not a person who can express her feeling very well, which could be understand because she grew up in a broken family,
true love never existed before V existence.
J never think of V is needy even though they talk a lot on the phone
but why, when argument came op, needy become one of the issue?
the ex bf thingy and whole lot of J's ignorance personality
make it worse
J is tired of quarrel, so does V, J hope there would be no more quarrel
V is very unsatisfied with one thing about his relationship with J how come he can always tolerate with B, even though it was not true love and be rude to J deep inside V's heart, it's just very struggling because he always wanted to be nice to J but V is a very impatient person he wants to see effective and immediate results, but that's not how J take things work and J is a person that could be very mean when she works and V just don't get used to the fact the he is being ignored more than last time when V is best friend with J probably because they talk too much, and J thinks that is the way that they feel each other together
V appreciate more in depth conversation everyday because he likes to think deep. When this kind of conversation don't spark before night he will be upset because during the 4 years of the relationship, it had always been a one way traffic Because J is just completely the love he has been seeking that he knows he can't let go V doesn't want to change J because he fell in love with J with who J was. V and J's story is something that could happen as rare as seeing Mars hitting the earth and yes they did said that before if they are together Mars and Earth will hit each other. So V shall never let go J, they are just having some technical difficulties here.
V and J is a couple that have very similar characteristics, that love each other very much. J is a more tolerant person, but after being with V(in fact since J is with F) I don't know when J started to be not that tolerate anymore. V is a very selfish person he had closed his heart for being generous for a year from being hurt since what happened back home in summer 2007. Now he is opening his heart to be no selfish anymore but he's very afraid to get hurt J might not realize this but it's always in his heart. V spent all the time and money(even he has little now)trying to make J happy because he feels he has been a better bf to N and very regretful to J and that's why he is not happy everyday. Almost everyday they quarrel. V is the one who bring it up because he is either unsatisfied his performance(trying to get assurance from J) or he just can't get used to the fact that J is asking more and more everyday but now they are tired
All I wanna do is to find a way back into love
J love V,but they always argue out of small things
J used to have nobody next to her when she needed anyone
she had get used to it, and become a free sprite. But ever since V have become a part of her life, she know there is someone out there for her
J had told herself. She could let anyone down, she could let anybody upset or disappointed about her, but just V, not V, J doesn't want V to get up set or anything
J never open her heart to anybody,
but just V, she had let him enter her heart.
the distance, the past
had make them suffer
they argue everyday
J had never argue with anyone, besides V
they both upset with each other
V is worry about the uncertainties, and J is trying to make herself comfortable with the distance relationship
J love him, and she never thinks a call per call will make it enough
they talk at least 8 hours per day and plus the video call
and maybe J is not a person who can express her feeling very well, which could be understand because she grew up in a broken family,
true love never existed before V existence.
J never think of V is needy even though they talk a lot on the phone
but why, when argument came op, needy become one of the issue?
the ex bf thingy and whole lot of J's ignorance personality
make it worse
J is tired of quarrel, so does V, J hope there would be no more quarrel
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Way back to love
This is song what we need from what happened the night before yesterday. I think apologizing here is more sincere through text message. Sincere apology from the pig bowl:
[Verse 1]
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!
(Hugh Grant)
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!
[Chorus]
(Both)
All I wanna do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
Oooooh.
[Verse 2]
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere!
(Hugh Grant)
I've been looking for someone to she'd some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.
[Chorus]
(Both)
All I wanna do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!
[Middle-eight]
(Drew Barrymore)
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
[Chorus]
(Both)
All I wanna do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!
[Verse 1]
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!
(Hugh Grant)
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!
[Chorus]
(Both)
All I wanna do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
Oooooh.
[Verse 2]
(Drew Barrymore)
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere!
(Hugh Grant)
I've been looking for someone to she'd some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.
[Chorus]
(Both)
All I wanna do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!
[Middle-eight]
(Drew Barrymore)
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
[Chorus]
(Both)
All I wanna do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sweetest
The sun will always shine, the stars will always there. Just like that night, when the shooting star came across the sky. You were there.
Monday, October 20, 2008
I Love You, But You Are Not By My Side
Missing you!
词：李焯雄/陈镇川 曲：王力宏
当世界只剩下这床头灯 你那边是早晨已经出门
我侧身感到你在转身 无数陌生人正在等下一个绿灯
一再错身彼此脆弱的时分 如果渴望一个吻的余温
我关了灯黑暗把我拼吞 wo
你不在 当我最需要爱 你却不在 wo
无尽等待像独白的难挨 wo
你不在 高兴还是悲哀 你都不在
我受了伤在偷偷好起来 但你不在 不在
时间再按下许多次快门 沉默里听见转动的秒针
一个人吃饭这个凌晨 孤单一人份 你低声说你有别人
我的话筒只有自己的体温 怎样认真也不一定成真
你说的对 我不得不承认 wo
你不在 当我最需要爱 你却不在 wo
无尽等待像独白的难挨 wo
你不在 高兴还是悲哀 你都不在 wo
我受了伤再偷偷好起来 但你不在 wo
Bridge 那些摇摆 我都明白 都明白
但你不在 爱已不在 不在
你不在 当我最需要爱 你却不在 wo
一个人分饰两角的恋爱 wo
你不在 高兴还是悲哀 你都不在 wo
像空气般不存在 再没有痕迹的爱
你不在 当我需要你的爱 你不在
Monday, September 22, 2008
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